Vintage

gone..
my mind became blank.. my world seemed to have collapsed.. no words uttered..

even if i cry, you would still be gone..
even if i change today, forever..
even if i lie, you would still be gone..
even if i have someone else, you would still be gone..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

new knowledge..
went chinatown.. i felt like a foreigner.. was amazed at the "historical sites".. but it got a little boring after some time.. weather was so humid! had a can of "jiajia" herbal tea before moving on.. also visited serveral bookstore cafes.. the ambience was good.. calm and soothing music.. self- help, spiritual healing, star- signs books, etc.. scented incense.. stylish dining settings.. well, a great experience gained.. i came across a star- signs book.. it shows the characteristics of one's star- sign, its positives and negatives, the ways to help this person become better in everything he or she does.. it was really interesting to see how with human knowledge, authors come up with exclusive ways and methods to change people's "luck".. the book also indicates the particular and special type of crystal/s to use for different aspect of life such as challenges and emotions.. new experience and knowledge stored..

bought white chocolate with strawberry chips.. it was mouth- watering.. the chocolate simply melts in your mouth when it comes into contact with the tongue and enzymes produced.. and you can feel the strawberry chips slowly floating its way out of the chocolate.. i love strawberry!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

spare the regrets..
went excelsior hotel for a lavishing dim sum buffet from 12p.m to 1.15p.m.. it was great fellowship with my uncle.. nice food, nice ambience, nice people, great conversation.. then i decided to visit my aunt's manicure shop at the vicinity.. did both manicure and pedicure beacause my thumb nail got chipped off in the morning on my way out.. well, guess i can do a better job than that.. i should have allowed the perfectionist to do it.. spare the regrets!
proceeded to gym, did my usual workout.. and i went for the body- pump class today! it was truely a terrific time of stretching my lazy bones.. am feeling the aches now.. enjoyed it! without knowing, my legs crept into marks and spencer again.. bought biscuits and chips.. trying to pamper myself..
met up with my uncle in the evening for dinner.. went hereen to shop.. the retailer was so persuasive.. those words simply controlled my thoughts for that moment.. thus, i went home with things which i do not really need.. so next time, if you want to talk me into buying anything, just send someone good- looking who knows how to sweet talk.. oh, spare the regrets!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

a dream bigger than myself..
someone imparted something to me today.. i was really anticipating and knew things would not be quite the same even before i met her.. she is someone whom i have always looked up to.. the one who taught me about everyone else.. the one who always challenges me to bring out the potential in me, to be the best i can be.. the one who has faith in me.. i was moved..
went for training after the meet- up.. did not performed well.. i was not my usual self.. as i was running the laps on the track, her question struck me.. my mind focused totally on that all of a sudden.. i reprimanded myself while this pair of gorgeous legs showcased its beauty on the track.. i must stop feeling sorry for myself all the time.. i have to get out of this futile and warped mindset of mine.. i need to move on.. i need to have a dream bigger and deeper than myself!
that dream of mine for this year.. somehow got hit by storms and waves as i was so enthusiastically involved and trying to persue it.. along with it came some other dreams.. i was shattered when i could not reach those little "side- way" dreams.. i felt devastated and perhaps that caused me to miss out on that dream of this year- something i have always had passion for.. now, i need to step out again.. to start pursuing that dream before the year pass me by..
it is not easy and will never be.. i have to cling onto the promises of God to keep me going.. words have the power to cause someone to tap into the supernatural and do something extraordinary.. i am finding back my first love..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

a short while..
was not feeling well today, perhaps it is the aftermath of the games at sentosa yesterday.. had butterflies in my stomach.. the airy, anxious and empty stomach was protesting fiercely and sternly..
did not really enjoyed fellowship, there was not a "proper" conversation no matter how hard i tried.. (of course, i do not mean everyone..) i just feel upset..
i gave it all out at the gym.. a good way to relief stress and to tone the body.. but i felt it was not enough..
as i was on the treadmill, i over- looked the crowds on the streets.. with the sun shining in on me through the clearly- furnished glass, the air- conditioner blowing above on the ceiling.. many thoughts ran through my vulnerable and weak mind at that moment.. many upsetting moments in life actually come and generate from people.. mankind, filled with cunning ideas, disorganisation, schemes, warped and weird mentality, uncertainty, is but an unknown mystery to me.. one can never fully comprehend nor understand people completely inside- out.. no matter how much we claim to have known or studied about humankind, one simply cannot figure out the mindset of another exactly..

as the sun set.. i paced up and down the warm street of orchard filled with unfamiliar faces.. got my thoughts cluttered and messed up.. not knowing which path to take.. wanted to get some light snacks from C K Tangs.. wanted to go Wisma to take a look at the shoe shop, Pedro.. as this is the last day of their 40% store- wide sale.. but did not went either place in the end.. i went Hereen to check out the condition of my top.. it has been a week yet it is not ready.. well, i need some more patience.. or rather, they need to be more efficient!
i really feel like shutting down.. and to cut off from this fed- up world.. at least for a short while.. it may do me good..
dinner at grandmother's place marked the fulfillment of today..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

the correct way..
the ability of using chopsticks in the traditional chinese way is but a skill required to be taught by when one is growing up..
my friend and i went to a hong knog cafe the other day.. and he taught me to use chopsticks the correct way there and then.. i had never used it correctly, which is.. the two sticks should never cross each other but always remaining parallel.. now, i am declared a true chinese..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

marks and spencer..
have been feeling rich nowadays.. bought marks and spencer chips and chocolates for a few days in a row already.. well, there was just no practical reasons.. nor did i had any cravings.. i simply wanted to try out their new products.. and to share with my friends.. but it seem like they are not at the least appreciative nor interested..
i am always impressed with marks and spencer food products.. reduced fat and oil.. draws health- conscious consumers like me.. indulgence!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

knocked- out..
did not blogged for the past few days.. felt really coped up with the bothers and cares of this broken- down and vague world.. how i wish for a break or a time off from everything on hand.. many times i encourage myself to press on and to move along.. but at the end of the day, i find myself not heading anywhere.. i would often crouch on my bed after a long and tiring day and think through about the events that had taken place for that particular day.. just to hit upon the fact that i am depressed and disappointed with the struggle within..
went sentosa today.. enjoyed myself despite our whole team arrived one hour late, due to some late- comers.. played captain's ball with oranges and eggs on the sand, it was truely a pleasant experience.. i never tried that before.. we raced through the jungle trail and i came in second! (well, for your information.. there were more than two of us!) was amazed that i actually did it.. the "water- bomb dog and bone" game marked the end of the day for us all.. apparently i got threw at for no reason.. you can imagine the state of my body when it comes into contact with sand and water.. it definitely does not feel good..
i was totally knocked- out on my way home.. was bushed!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

senility..
have not been in my right state of mind of late.. keep forgetting things.. and i tend to leave things undone! guess i really am getting old.. i left my facial wash in the shower room of the gym yesterday.. so i reminded myself to ask for lost and found items at the front desk today.. and guess what? i was sitting in front of the front desk after my shower today and i totally forgot to ask about my facial wash! how forgetful can one like me get?
worst thing.. i forgot to bring my running shorts when i planned to go gym on monday.. i only found out when i was on the train.. how sad can that be? think i may even forget to wear anything out one day.. am i getting senile?
met up with two of my secondary school classmates.. went shopping at orchard.. and guess i ate quite a lot today.. i had an orange- julius combo meal after my dinner.. how sinful could this get? but i am not putting on much weight.. well, be envious of me.. i love to eat! but i simply cannot grow fat.. oh, guess i better stop this, if not.. the girls will all want me dead..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

one more moment..
all i need is one more moment with you.. i beg you not to leave me.. you have seen me through the light years of my younger days.. the love you showered over me never ceases to fill the ignorant and confident me.. i would regret if you leave just like that.. i do not want to say goodbye to you.. i need you by my side.. continue to be my pillar of strength.. continue to create that smile on my face.. just stay a little while more.. i do not want to leave those words unsaid..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

the art of eating prawns..
went supper near ZOUK.. (no, i did not went ZOUK).. it was a prawn noodle outlet.. to be exact, it is herbal soup live prawn noodle! they actually catch the prawns right on the spot and cook them before their customers.. i had a bowl of prawn noodle in herbal soup with four huge and fresh prawns.. it was simply delicious! i love the herbal soup.. it reminds me of my grandmother and her tonic soups which i always look forward to when i go her place for dinner.. the prawns definitely are not peeled.. (dream on!).. i had a hard time peeling the orange- red freshly- cooked prawns.. my friend plucked the strongly attached heads from the bodies of the prawns for me.. and so the rest is up to me.. did pretty well though, managed to peel the shells with just chopsticks, spoon and my mouth.. (a round of applause for myself).. i have found another great dining place.. shall patronise them again.. but could not really remember the exact location..
it was a great night spent.. loved everything..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

thumbs- up..
went shopping with kelvin.. i bought a pair of black havaianas sandal from CHECK at fareast.. this particular design was long sold out at newurbanmale.. it was surprising to see it at CHECK, bought it anyway.. as i have not eaten the whole day, i suggested cafe cartel for dinner.. i like the toast and butter there, they are fresh! kelvin ordered two scoops of ice- cream for dessert! that is definitely not helpful in his diet plan.. we roamed the cold streets of orchard until 10.00p.m.. he actually lied to me that wednesday was his school's exam- marking day and that he had no need to attend school, so that he can stay out till 10.00p.m.. i was so furious! he actually lied to me.. worst thing is that he was not ashamed nor apologetic about it at all.. he got the audacity to giggle.. well, thumbs- up for kelvin! i find it difficult to trust him anymore, he betrayed the trust people grant him..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

unhealthy..
heaved myself out of bed again this morning.. woke up at about 12.30p.m.. was compelled by the thought of obtaining vincent ng's body to workout.. without a choice, i went to the gym.. felt lethargic as i was on my way to paragon, i simply stared into the thin air throughout the whole journey..
met my gym instructor.. i was not in the mood to workout, yawned from time to time.. and you can imagine the stares from other gym users.. did not really bothered much about what the instructor was saying though i appeared to look certain and steady.. i dislike working out alone, others always pass me by with doubtful expressions.. a personal trainer sure makes the atmosphere different..
met up with some friends for "brunch" even though it was already evening time.. well, i had not taken anything since morning.. - unhealthy!
nightmare struck me when i reached home.. i had stomach cramps! laid on the bed in a "curl-ed up" position, with the intention of skipping dinner.. took my dinner only after some rest and a cup of hot drink.. my eyes are glued to the TV when it started airing "family matters" at 9.00p.m on channel eight.. then switched to channel five to watch "america's next top model".. as i am typing this, i begin to feel my muscles aching!
lives impacted: affendy, bob, dee, francis, HW, K, michael..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

shopping spree.. worn out.. sleep in..
it was an enjoyable and joyful day for me on thursday, 070906.. went shopping the whole day! had pasta- mania for brunch.. used up most of my birthday vouchers.. i simply love the feeling of carrying countless shopping bags.. had a great time of fellowship too! went vila'ge restaurant at hereen for dinner.. felt contented and satisfied!

was supposed to workout at the gym on friday, 080906, but this lazybones got away with it.. went for a dance concert in the evening.. it almost captivated my soul.. was amazed at the jazz dancers who slid swiftly in their heels.. the concert also showcased many potential dancers in their creative moves.. i was caught in admiration..

went for overnight prayer meeting from 11p.m to five in the morning the next day.. really felt the power of God moving so mightily in church.. God's tangible presence simply filled the whole auditorium.. though i feel weak and worn out physically, but my spirit is charged up!

had one hour to rest before heading for kayaking sea training at kallang river on saturday, 090906.. apparently i was totally knocked- out! the weary ears could not pick up the melodious ring- tone on my cell phone that morning.. in short, i missed training.. was only able to force myself out of that comfy bed of mine at noon.. went for brunch with some of my friends at orchard.. we had so much laughter over brunch.. the entire restaurant almost became ours.. window- shopped at serveral boutiques before heading home.. i was bushed!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

strenuous..
was really bushed today.. woke up only at 2p.m and did some household tasks before meeting my friends.. apparently, i was late.. well, i went Jurong East Sports Complex's KFC to buy "Shrooms Burger Meal" and guess how long i queued? it was an extensive and time- consuming 20 minutes.. (guessed i really am into the mood of queueing nowadays..) there was only one female cashier managing two counters! the most horrifying thing is that her colleague refused to help her out.. her colleague was simply walking around, tidying the trays and disposing of the rubbish bags, in other words.. cannot be bothered by the elongated lines!
i enjoyed the fellowship with kenny and some others though it was just a short meet up with them.. was pondering if i should proceed for kayaking land training which starts at 6p.m.. was feeling lethargic and sluggish to train this lazy body of mine.. tossed a coin over and over just to prove my body right..
went for training anyway.. took contentment and gratification in it.. we ran around the school, which is equivalent to eight rounds on the running track.. i felt it was good! did three sets of seven pull- ups.. went to the gym for about an hour and a half.. did two sets of 25 push- ups and two sets of 30 crunches.. it was tough on this languid and slothful body of mine which missed out on multiple gym sessions for the past one month.. my body certainly is aching now..
a strenuous day indeed..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

dejected.. dampen.. despondent..
woke up with a clear and unobstructed voice.. was amazed at that.. still, i started with some vocal warm ups.. practiced my song before a couple of workouts.. "this must be the day i have been waiting for.." i thought to myself.. just to find out that i was wrong all these while later in the day..
i was appalled, astounded, dazed, flabbergasted, horror- struck, shocked, stunned and taken aback that i did not made it through the audition today.. i could not believe my eyes and ears when the "judges" struck the bell.. at that instant, diffidence, discomfiture, insecurity and mortification grabbed onto my ankles.. i wanted to hide somewhere for the time- being.. i feel really awful and terrible that i disappointed my friends.. they queued with me for a total of nine hours.. the whole experience felt like a dream.. i am depressed..
went chuch for prayer meeting after the "dream", felt God's tangible presence and love.. i could feel His peace and love filling me..
whenever i meet with discomfort or sad issues in life.. God never fails to comfort and see me through those difficult moments.. it is in Him that i find strength to continue my race.. it is in Him that i find the motivation to spur myself on.. each time i fall, i know i can count on Him to make me a comeback.. His love just amazes me..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

the art of eating fish..
stayed home the whole day.. an appointment got cancelled.. was feeling really fatiqued and worn out.. did up my blog, updated my posts.. just everything that does not require me to move out of my tempting and comfy bed..
went dinner with my parents.. we had curry fish head.. well, what a good timing.. i will be having an audition tomorrow.. but i did learnt something today - the art of eating fish head! my mom shared that the meat jus around and beside the eyes of fish is good for complexion.. of course, i had to have it! i love fish, yet at the same time, i dread it.. i love steamed ones.. they are healthy; all nutrients are retained and it is free from unnecessary oil.. fish is a brain- food, i need that! i dread the skin of fish.. they are slimy and oily.. i dread the mawkish smell of fish, it makes me nauseous and disgusted.. only the freshest are tolerable..
i am still robust about the audition tomorrow.. having no idea how the whole event is going to take place.. totally trusting God to lead me through..
the art of eating fish is but something intricate and amzing to me..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

long- awaited..
had a great service today.. pastor preached about the past emotional baggages we all bring into our relationships.. as we are growing up, our brain and mind had already decided the type of person we will and want to be, especially between the ages of six and eight.. the mindset of a child is being moulded to liken their parents' in these years.. thus, mutiple wrong actions and beliefs may be attached and inculcated into the child and thus producing results we dread to see when they grow up.. many of these had somehow subconsciously made inner vows to reject something or someone or even to accept something or someone whom the society may not agree with.. it was really a deep sermon..
met up with some of my friends to take part in the project superstar singing competition at Toa Payoh.. crowds were thronging through and fro before me.. queues were disorganised.. the sun was furious, it burned like the lake of fire.. people were puffing their lungs out, as if there is no tomorrow.. some had verbal diarrhea, which messed up my felings and thoughts and left me pondering over nothing.. the superstar's stomach was not filled with anything at all.. yet i had to put up with the extensive, stretched and disorganised queue.. my feet suffered the ultimate degree of aches and pains from the comfort of shoes and fiery cemented grounds.. a good six- hour patience cum stamina training programme ended at eight in the evening.. it left me without a chance to showcase my talents.. i was re- scheduled for audition on 050906.. thank God i had the company of friends throughout the tedious, mind- breaking and breath- challenging "programme".. i needed food!
we went crystal jade at Takashimaya.. ordered set dinner meal.. had a great time of fellowship and witticism at the restaurant.. it felt as if it was ours.. laughter and joy filled the atmosphere.. waitresses and staff enjoyed serving the fun- filled crowd..
i am exhausted!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .