Vintage

trying..
had a long day in school today.. a filling dinner too.. went to south canteen for western food, the portion was really huge.. and my friends were even betting if i could finish it.. of course i did! it is peanuts to me..
spent some time with kelvin in town after night class.. he bought another ed hardy top again.. how foolish that is?.. if he had saved all the money spent on all those ed hardy stuff, he could have easily gotten me the gucci tote bag i wanted for a long time.. i am still saving for it.. but seems like there ain't much progress in the amount of my bank book.. i am trying real hard to minimise my expenditures nowadays..
i really wish that i can get the gucci bag by christmas this year!..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

triumph..
almost forgot today is monday and that i needed to attend lessons.. took my time to prepare for school, was late for lecture at noon for about five minutes.. well, there is an improvement! attended business software lab session as well, it was an agonising three hours for me.. did a quiz and i passed it! was glad yet not satisfied at that..
thought about many things today.. many times we cannot change our situation, but what we can is to change our persective towards it.. there will never be one instant solution to any problem, so we got to transform our mentality and be an overcomer at the end of the day.. don't be defeated by temporary problems, they are simply here to test our patience and to stretch our creative minds which never fails to come up with ideas and solutions to solve challenges some cannot triumph over..
a good day ended off by dining with my family..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

scrunching up..
had 3.5 hours of sleep last night, it is this morning to be exact.. i was drained all day for sure! but still, i made it a point to smile and brighten others' day..
been in deep thoughts.. went home to rest after church today.. was typing blog and checking some mails until i fell asleep on my laptop.. had no choice but to force myself up to at least turn it off before scrunching up on that comfy bed.. was in a coma from about 8p.m till 9.am the next day.. body is still aching though..
did not eat enything today, was so tired to even eat.. had only 4 slices of plain bread..
getting ready for school soon..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

satiated..
had two more hours of sleep last night than usual.. met up with kelvin to shop at city hall.. we went marina square for brunch, in a restaurant named CA.. could not remember the exact name, but it was located beside carl's junior (i love it).. the food at CA is not too bad, they blended western and japanese style of cooking to present forth their unique and affordable dishes.. had a really filled brunch..
headed for the 6th global chinese music awards at the Singapore Indoor Stadium.. was stunned at the mention of new singers and group bands we, in Singapore don't even know of.. what an embarrassment.. perhaps Singapore is just too slow in our music industry.. enjoyed the great songs at the awards, but felt the allocation of awards was not well- justified.. most award- winning singers or groups are from hong kong and china..
wonder if it was a worthwhile night spent..
reached home at about 2.30a.m..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

dog- tired..
friday comes.. i woke up even before the birds do.. i crawled out of bed diligently, bushed.. the morning rush left me without breakfast.. amazingly, i was alert during the boring tutorial but my eyes are feeling tired..
a very interesting day i had.. went body shop and got some of their new products.. i simply love the frangrances they produce.. i love strawberry! amounted to quite a lot though..
kelvin gave me his ed hardy cap! i was simply exhilarated.. though i am not an ed hardy die- hard fan, i don't mind owning something from there.. also, he lent me his ed hardy shoes.. it is green! i can match my top for sunday!
dog- tired..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

demoralised..
i was at a total lost.. i felt crestfallen and demoralised.. i thought we were on par.. but it proved not to be that way anymore.. i was turned away, but why?.. i tried to look and be the best i can wherever i go, to whom i may appear to meet.. but i guess it all came to naught.. i felt demoralised..
we used to stand on the same step on the escalator.. now it seem that you are standing two steps ahead of me, leaving me behind, abandoning me.. you seem to be so much more sophisticated than when we first met, or are you always this way?.. perhaps i really do not know you that well afterall.. i hate to think this way, but you simply outshone me.. made me an outcast and left me aside to breathe on my own.. i know i am not good enough.. i have no need to put on any pretence.. i admit defeat, you won..
was in a happy mood today, school seemed fun! (only today- as of now).. found out that my accouts tutorial was actually e- learning, meaning i need not attend accounts tutorial class.. so, met up with a friend for movie.. watched D.O.A.. though a short 85 minutes, it was a great film i must say.. fun day out..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

observe..
people come in and out of my life.. i have no idea or impression about them.. (not to mention those who are deemed as permanent.. oh, you get what i mean, don't you?) why do i always feel that there is not enough communication?.. am i becoming paranoia?.. i doubt so..
every shadow that passes through my life is, but a tremendous blessing..
there is no curriculum for me today, thus did not went school.. headed gym instead.. i was so disturbed by the many thoughts that were running through my mind.. could not really concentrate on working out.. for about five minutes, i sat there in a daze.. reflecting upon those incidents which should never have taken place.. emotions were stirred.. had a cup of cold drink before anything drastic can happen..
went starbucks to study.. done my tutorials for tomorrow (applause).. it was a great sense of achievement, simply make sure i do this often enough to absorb all information..
met up wth a group of "friends", introduced by a friend of mine.. we went coffeebean, sat and chatted.. it was cold in the night, all of us were freezing in the open.. had a nice hang out with them though i did not talk a lot.. i just enjoy observing them, their mannerism, their use of languages, their dressing.. simply their way of life.. it is interesting to see how people react to certain issues.. i am always amazed by those responses, they are fascinating!
had a long day.. my body is complaining of lack of sleep, bones are aching.. and i have morning lesson tomorrow.. love the day..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

key of life..
woke up religiously today.. met up with a friend for breakfast, it was brunch actually.. but i simply feel tired.. went vivocity with my relatives to shop.. they waited quite a while for me.. well, i felt rather bad about it.. massive crowds were everywhere, it was difficult for us to move from place to place.. i got so uneasy!
saw a few tops i like.. guess i will be getting them soon! so tempted!
went orchard in the evening.. shopped again.. bought a pair of jeans from fareast plaza, it simply looks great on me! went ed hardy, reserved a top.. saw something i like from newurbanmale.com too.. am i in my shopping spree mood again?.. i hope not.. i need to save up!
communication truely is the key of life, everything starts with communication.. to put one's idea or pespective across, he or she must be willing to speak in a language the other party understands and can respond to.. otherwise, the whole conversation becomes a monologue.. then, there is no purpose or meaning in the conversation, just walk out of it..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

bad day..
was 25 minutes late for my early morning tutorial today.. took a nap on my way to school.. am feeling fatigue after a long day in that enclosed, dry and rigid place - the school.. hands were feeble, legs could not find its way through, mind was not focusing and eyes were partially open.. totally having no idea what the presenter is saying, i sat through the three- hour lab session without expressions on my face..
ended all lessons at 7p.m today, went to the groceries.. my mind was in a blank, i lost idea of what to do at the supermarket.. simply bought anything which might be of use.. ended up i carried four bags of groceries, adding on was my shoulder- breaking and weighty bag.. without a choice, i called my mom to pick me up..
perhaps i really am too worn out, i tried to weary myself further just now.. tried whipping up a dish with whatever i bought at the supermarket.. and i found out that my stove at home is spoilt.. i simply have no idea how it happened, it was still fine yesterday.. now i have to use the steamboat cooker and the microwave oven to cook..
gorged myself with food at the TV from 10.15p.m onwards.. soon, you will see an obese and sloppy person typing on this blog.. that will be the greatest nightmare..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

rushing tutorials..
had only two hours of sleep last night.. and i had to wake up at 6a.m today.. am feeling really tired now.. went east coast park after service today.. had a great time of fun and laughter together.. went cycling and played some games.. my legs and bums are feeling the aches and stretch now, they are telling me not to attend school tomorrow.. well.. i am a good student, i will turn up tomorrow.. fell asleep on the bus on my way home from town just now.. thank God a kind soul woke me up when the bus reached the interchange.. just in time for the transfer to another bus.. i am so worn out! did my tutorials just now.. there are some challenging questions which i need clarification on, will consult the others tomorrow then.. will be having make- up tutorial and lecture tomorrow due to hari raya on tuesday.. it is a day off for me! actually.. for everyone!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

learning the process..
schedule for the day got changed at last minute.. was dead beat the moment i got home, but i still have got tasks undone.. i feel so panicky and unnerved now, i have not started on all my tutorials for the first week.. do not wish to leave bad impressions on the tutors.. i promised myself to buck up this semester, so i must do it!
was pondering over some issues today, and i got really upset about it.. people say one thing and yet do another, condradicting themselves.. guess the biggest problem on earth is mankind.. we are all filled with different perspectives of life, different habits and mannerism.. that makes us all incredibly, creativiely and uniquely special.. however, these often clash.. well, this is life, all of us need to learn to cope with changes, diverse expectations or results, even people and life itself..
a terribly exhausted day..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

tired..
woke up especially early today.. attended my 8a.m lesson and it was the most boring lesson i have ever had.. the tutor was monotonous and unattractive.. i simply cannot bear sitting in his tutorial.. i wonder how am i to survive this semester.. below is the first dialogue we had..

chan: so, you got your book?
star: nope..
chan: you might want to get it now..
star: not today, my bag is very heavy already, i still need to buy accounts book later..
chan: why not you go and buy from the bookstore now?
star: (look away) you're right, i should get it.. (sigh pissedly)

the book cost SGD$5.20.. it was so expensive! for a thin notebook.. but glad i bought it.. it means that i need not get it next time..
forgot to bring along something essential as i was rushing out of home in the morning.. thus, went back home to get it and rushed to the gym.. time was not on my side, but i turned it all around.. i had enough time to workout and later meet my friends.. a tiring yet great day spent..

we just happen to wear the same colour top today.. everyone was teasing us, spare me! had some time before the next lecture, so decided to take some photos.. this is one of them..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

rush to sleep..
lessons ended at 3.30p.m, it was early! wanted to workout, but kelvin spoilt my plan.. so i left my bags at the gym.. then we met up, went window- shopping.. but he kept eating! was supposed to meet a friend for dinner at about 7p.m.. but ended up we only had something light and simple because both of us were really filled from our lunches.. rushed back to gym, showered and hurried home, i have morning lesson tomorrow! God help me.. i need strength!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

fun..
woke up with such expectancy.. checked the PSI, it was 72 in the morning.. been wanting to go sentosa for a long time.. we planned this a few days back.. reached siloso beach at about 2p.m.. swam, sun- tanned.. had fun! it has been a long time since i let down my hair to relax.. though it was quite quiet at the beach, the exuberance in us certainly filled the place.. i feel so blessed!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

cold..
second day of school started with confusion.. needed to configure my laptop to the school's wireless network and to install a program so as to use the laptop to assess some school sites.. went to a few wrong places due to incorrect information being passed down.. finally got the laptop done.. but one sad thing is, i need to bring it to school almost every day! this adds on to my heavy bag!
temperature of the air- conditioner got very low, everyone was extremely cold and some were shivering after a two- hour tutorial.. the next tutorial happens to be in the same room.. but this tutor was more sensitive and understanding.. she brought us to the canteen, since it is the first tutorial which we will only introduce ourselves so that the tutor can know us better.. guess this never happened before.. conducting a tutorial session in the canteen.. well, we are into innovation here..
had a great dinner after night class today.. time was well spent.. loved it!

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

set meal for two..
was excited for the first day of school.. reached at around 12.15p.m.. lecture was brief, it was the first one anyway.. had pasta for lunch.. the portion kind of shrunk, even the drink! but was satisfied.. have not tasted school food for a long time since the holidays..
had a three- hour long lab session learning business software.. teaching us about the internet, its uses, explaination of key words and so many more things.. it is a complete bore and uninteresting lesson for someone like me..
met up with a friend for dinner after lesson at orchard.. we could not decide where to dine at and out came a smart idea from the superstar to have crystal jade.. we ordered a set meal for two.. there were so many dishes we nearly could not finish.. we had chicken- boiled soup, which taste fabulous.. roast chicken and duck was not really up to our expectation.. the fried lemon chicken tasted great, real lemon was used and the chicken was tender.. we also had steamed fish.. it was fresh! both my friend and i were simply too formal, we helped each other to the dishes.. as for me, personally i do not really know how to retrieve the meat of fish, that usually is done by my mom and i would have fish without bones on my plate or bowl.. but mom was not with us today, so.. i really tried.. it will be such great honor to have me helping you to fish dishes.. i told my friend that there was no fish bones on the spoon- ful of meat i took for him, apparently i was wrong! well, i tried.. to end off, we had red bean with ginko for dessert..
went to workout after dinner.. the gym was crowded! too many people.. and this is the first time i had trouble looking for a locker in the shower room.. great day spent..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

stretched..
had a stretched day.. went gym in the evening.. met up with kelvin for dinner and to chill out.. we went for "wanton" noodle at hereen level 5.. then went subway at cineleisure for cookies.. of course that did not fill our stomach.. we went fareast plaza for fried chicken.. both of us had a set meal each.. the time we finished was about 10p.m already.. thus, decided to head home..
took a quick shower and went for supper with jeanie and my sis.. we had porridge and it was super filling.. can you imagine?.. i am eating so much in one night! but i enjoyed the fellowship, the time spent..

my marks and spencer crave has not stopped.. bought some healthy junk food after gym earlier..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

disgusted..
as i was on my way home earlier.. i saw this woman, probably in her thirties.. she was squeezing black heads on the bus! she happily took out her pocket mirror and started squeezing black heads without putting into consideration the people around her.. she was so unhygenic.. she wiped the black heads onto the shawl she was wearing.. i could not believe my eyes.. what an inconsiderate and unhygenic woman i saw today! i almost wanted to puke! unbelievable! i still get the jitters at the mention of it..
had an enjoyable day though.. a friend treated me to pasta mania for dinner.. loved it..
-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

stirred..
had an arduous and busy day.. emotions were stirred.. a breakthrough mindset.. blessed blessing and multiplying multiplication.. i want to prosper until i become extremely prosperous, in every possible aspect and area of my life.. my existence will improve the lives of people around me..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

special..
a special day indeed.. reminisce on memories..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

euphoric..
time passed fast today.. i knocked off on time! guess i learnt quite a lot today.. time at work was fruitful.. my life, however only started at 5.00p.m.. went home, showered, looked gorgeous.. then went to meet my friends for dinner in town..
we went to a russian restaurant and the food taste great! the borsch soup is just enough to fill our stomachs.. the ambience was not too bad, it felt a little like the traditional western type of eating place where royalties dine at.. selected dishes are cooked before their customers, the sort where chefs push their trolleys and big flames almost burn their customers' hair.. it is a nice place to dine in, no doubts.. just that you might stink your delcate fabrics there.. but mine did not..

that was my dessert- peach melba..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

contradiction..
contradiction.. condratiction.. contradiction.. there are many contradictions i see today.. people wrapping and un- wrapping, packing and un- packing, tidying and messing up, complimenting and then back- stabbing each other.. i simply refuse to see the point in this!
why are some people "double- faced"? they take on the role of angel and devil at different times under diverse circumstances.. is that supposed to be the way?.. do ponder over it..
being the cheerful and vocally- talented me, i sang as i was about my tasks today.. and when i came to this song, it nearly brought me to tears.. a part of the song goes like this..
and the words that seem so hard to say..
come out when you have gone away..
stay a little while and hear me say..
really felt sad and was full of regrets as i reminisce on the past..
was also really disturbed by another issue this late afternoon.. could not focus on my task for a minute or two..
had a long and tiring day..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

passion . committment..
passion and committment are closely related.. when one is passionate, he or she will make a decision to stay committed.. be it in a relationship or whatsoever issue of life.. with passion comes committment.. however, people tend to lose their passion for certain things easily.. well, continue to stay committed but find back that passion in the mean time.. with passion, we are empowered with motivation to excel in everything we do.. even to breakthrough our comfort zone and move on to a place greater than where we are now.. find back your passion once more if you had already lost track of it..
fell sick.. had running nose, headache and a little sore eyes..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

pool- side..
was feeling rather high this afternoon.. for no particular reason.. perhaps it is the love of God which moved me during service..
had a pool- side photoshoot at one of the established condominiums in the evening.. had a great time with the demanding yet understanding photographer and fellow models.. guess i did a great job today.. the comments were that i am professional.. i had to take instructions from the photographer and pose as he told me to.. posed by the pool.. floating on the water and even had to submerge myself fully under the water.. the shoot also required us to go into the water with clothes on! well, gained a great experience! it was something different and out of the ordinary.. a fruitful day..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

PSI..
my day was so monotonous.. i could not believe it.. i am feeling lethargic on a saturday! no gym for me.. no shopping.. no chilling out! but i had a nice nap though..
well, the haze is really bad! the PSI was 130 in the morning.. then about 86 in the late afternoon.. and it was 150 at about late evening.. and then it decreased to 140 at midnight.. been having dry throat since i woke up this morning.. thank God the nalgene bottle came in handy..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

bad weather..
watched MTV chinese today.. saw jay chou's "ting ma ma de hua" MV.. was really captivated by it.. i felt touched.. liked it..
went hunting for mooncakes.. and found a super cheap deal.. two boxes of mooncakes cost only 24 bucks.. taste rather nice..
blame it on the haze that we are not able to enjoy the moonlight and people around me are getting sick.. weather has been really bad these few days.. i remembered strolling at orchard the other day.. the atmosphere was so misty and murky that i could not even see what was in front of me.. weather is getting worse..
went Lau Pa Sat for supper.. felt satisfied! but, disliked the satay at stall number six.. it was awful! the meat tasted hard and weird.. the satay sauce was almost 1/5 oil.. terrible feeling! i only had two sticks!

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

ease the pain..
had two nightmares when i was sleeping yesterday night.. both were grisly and gruesomely horrifying.. i would not want to think about it for another second.. i woke up tearing..
went gym today.. after five days of legal leave from the fat- burning, calorie- reducing and muscle- gaining zone.. finally, i get to workout! i was alone.. and sadness caught hold of me at the treadmill.. i continued running.. thought about some other matters.. trying to suppress that emotion.. wiped clean my teary eyes and found someone looking at me just as i turned to my right.. i continued running..
met up with an ex- classmate for dinner.. we went cafe cartel.. i wanted good food! it has been quite some time since i last went cafe cartel.. love the toast and butter there.. had a good catch up with him.. nice chat though.. we went shopping after dinner..

bought a hoilster polo- tee, an abercrombie and fitch cap and a nalgene water bottle..

perhaps, i am just trying to ease the pain..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

struggle..
i dared not show my emotions.. feeling vexed over the melodious clanging music which tormented my ears so badly and to withstand the perturbing heat.. is but a test of fortitude.. i sat there, not knowing what to expect.. tears still struggled their way out of my eyes, no matter how hard i tried to restrain..
something is missing.. someone is gone.. it can never be found.. she can never come back..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .

i wish..
i had only three hours of sleep last night.. woke up pretty early today.. cannot imagine myself being so disciplined, the first time in so many weeks.. took two one- hour naps at 10a.m and 4.30p.m respectively.. my body feels like breaking.. have not been working out for almost a week now.. those muscles definitely need some help..
after a week of emotional disturbances and weather- threatening treatment.. my pimples had proudly made themselves known.. i am so sad..

i wish they were real..

and i would have packed them all in my bag, run to the bank and cash them in..

but they are not..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

move on..
was really bored and busy today.. had so many concerns to see to.. how i wish all these would conclude immediately.. i want to move on! i feel that the most frightening issue in life is when people are too contended and relaxed in their comfort zone that they no longer sense the need to move on.. do you know of anyone like this?
people who have lost their purpose to move on tend to be very sloppy and sluggish in the things they do.. they forsook the spirit of excellence for comfort and coziness.. they no longer look into details like how they would observe every single aspect and factor of every matter.. worst thing is.. their mindset had also taken the back seat- they live their lives based on history.. humanity and society have moved on.. but not their mentality..
we need to constantly renew our way of thinking.. inquire new knowledge, learn to see things from different perspectives.. simply wait and listen for a little while more rather than the impulsion to speak just to realise they are foolish statements..
i got to think of myself the way i want others to see me as.. or rather what i want myself to be.. the human mind is a powerful thing.. it brings either positive or negative outcome in a person.. people who are affirmative and optimistic in their mind will produce fruitful results in their life.. they will achieve much more compared to someone who have a destructive and pessimistic mentality..
i want to be the sort who yearns for new knowledge day after day, the kind who will not give up easily in challenging or difficult moments.. one whose mindset is refreshed and renewed every day.. someone who is able to perceive matters with diverse views.. i want to reap positive fruits..
what sort of a person you want to be?

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 AM .

bushed..
it was really an exhausting and tiring day for me.. rushed to many places in the day.. and i cannot even take some time off to rest for a while.. was feeling unwell in the late evening.. God saved me when one of my caring and compassionate cousins passed me painkiller and water.. i am feeling much better now! praise the Lord.. please continue to keep me in prayers!
many thoughts are running through my mind.. guess i am still overwhelmed by the whole traumatising event..
my surprise of the day..

-superstar matt-

Lee Matthew was here at 11:59:00 PM .