YThursday, January 18, 2007
wept..
this night.. as i lay on my comfy and snug bed.. about to sleep, those thoughts visited me again.. i could not help but allow tears to flow down those allegic features.. i am afraid, i admit.. i knew all these shouldn't have even taken its place right from the beginning.. so, what's the point in feeling upset over it?..
laying there in comfort, with all the luxuries put aside.. i am, but an ordinary person you find on the streets.. i have had no idea why i am feeling this way again.. insecurity and inferiority crept into my heart.. i wept!..
why do i so then persist?.. i thought i had dropped the idea?.. why so then?.. no i have not dropped it completely.. it was at the back of my mind all these while.. the thought diminished, but did not vanish..
even as i am typing.. that ache- which is all i feel, pursued those wet waters down my cheeks.. i lost to you.. i feel so ashamed!.. sullied and filthy, i couldn't give myself another chance.. i wept!..
even if i cry, you'llstill be gone
even if i change today, forever
even if i lie, you'll still be gone
even if i've someone else, you'll still be gone
-supertstar matt-
Lee Matthew was here at